Fun with Whiskey and Ball Claps

For a while I Floated around East Anaheim and did a made my mark everywhere I possibly could. From Spray Painting boners on handicapped signs to Sleeping and pooping at Juarez. I was hanging out at the Lloyds for a while around this time and it was a blast. I hardly remember any of it, but from what I do it was glorious. This one night Me my friend Octi, Arnie, Katie, Erin or as we called her "Big Bird", Sarah and Billy the Canuck got hammered drunk, and fuck was it fun. Katie decided it'd be a good idea to snag a handle of whiskey from Stater Bros. I gave her a ride and she went inside. 2 or 3 minutes later she walked out with a handle of black velvet, the dirt cheapest piss poor pile of shit whiskey money can buy. We didn't have to though, she hada big purse. Now this was before whickey made me a terrible person. This was when I was a glorious person in these days and I'm about to tell you why. We went back to the house and got down to business, of course to polish off this one so we could get more. We started drinking in the driveway, I think thats when Teh Zach showed up to join in on the festivities. This was when I was sleeping at the park and this particular night, I had no money to eat the next day. I suggested Someone gave me 5 bux to snort the bottle cap full of  whiskey up my nose. If you know what a handle is you'd know that  the bottle cap is the size of a fucking shot glass prolly a little bigger. Billy the Canuck gladly flagged a 5 in my face to see if I was; indeed, a man of my word. I got a straw cut it short and took about 4 or 5 nice big wiffs along with 2 or 3 regurgitation bonanazas to finish it up. I'll tell you i'v never gotten drunker, faster, in all my god forsaken life, and for a moment I was triumphant. Then a shooting pain from my Testicular area shot up and my balls were in my throat. At the same time I heard a loud clapping sound below me. Arnie thought it'd a great idea to clap his hands, really fucking hard, with my nuts inbetween. This makes me vomit even more. It prolly woulda been really funny if it wasn't me, but shit it was me and I was in pain. We end up finishing up that bottle and I say I'll go get another one at CVS next door to the Stater Bros we went to earlier that night. I took a bike (for a clean and fast getaaway) and immediatly almost run into a parked RV that is nextdoor to the Lloyd residence, barely escaping certain death. When I got to CVS, I walked straight to the liquor aisle, grabbed another handle of black velvet, flip off the cashier that's too busy picking his ass to chase me, I then smiled walked to the bike and Booked it holding the bottle in one hand; desperatley trying not to eat shit and steer the bike back to where I came from. Crossing the street was no easy task. There was a center divider in the middle of the street at State College, "a terrible place to put one of these fucking things" I thought in the middle of a road, "someone could hit the fucking thing". I lift the front tire up with one hand to get up the curb and over this hurdle, Christ knows who put there, and somehow manage to not drop the whiskey in the process. I crossthe rest of the street pleading to my self "please don't be a fucking cop watching me do all this, just one more block and your golden." I made it and like always nobody believed in me, but Who is triumphant once again? FUCKING ME!! That's right. I also remember Kristie Testaburger being there as well by this point. We polish off this one too. At some point in the night I jumped off a neighbors roof into some bushes, landing on my back and again in a lot of pain. Me and Kristie decide to drive and get some food and when we come back, We hear Arnie screaming his fucking head off saying he hates us all and wants to die and takes off. I am at this point used to Arnie's awsome rampages of hate and death, so I didn't take him very seriously. He just needs to cool off and come back. I guess when me and Kristie left him and Billy the Canuck ended up getting to serious when they were drunken play fighting and ended up gettin pissed at each other. My guess is that Arnie hit him in the face and Billy didn't like that very much so he took off. I wasn't there and didn't really care to ask. Everything ended up being fine.