Get piant.net because photoshop is too bulky and isn't free. Paint.net lets you do a buncha simple shit photoshop can do... (cropping photos for example). a buncha other shit too, im just super tired and lazy so figure it out yourself
www.getpaint.net/download
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
The Shitty thing is
The thing about writing is nothing comes for 20 or so minutes, you gotta squeeze out, like the last remaining drops from an orange. All of a sudden everything starts to flow out in a rush, so fast that you better be able to move your stupid pen fast enough to capture it all. You either get it all or its gone forever. I was thinking one night when I woke up to piss at 4am, everything I would wanna write about just started splooging outta my head and I had no way to get it down. No paper, no pen, and no recording device, nothing just my dick in my hand. All the stuff that should be here isn't. I couldn't remember a thing even if I banged my head against the wall. A tragedy in itself. I'll prolly never get it back. It was perfect.
I'm trying to register for school, but I fucked up so many times before, I can only take 7 units they say. It's just not for me I guess. I don't wanna give them the satisfaction of keeping me down. I'm taking it to the dean. No ordinary student would do this, only one who is expected to thrive would. They had better see that. If not they are the rotten scum of the modern day failing education system. Most would give up, take the 7 units and be raped in the face by their stupid fucking restrictions. Not me, I like the fight. They can't possibly keep me down. It just isn't right.
Fuck them if they choose not to see it my way, the right way. If they don't I won't go. My way or Fuck You. I'm an American, words can unturn any screw here. Hear me and hear me well, FUck your own Mother Deans. Fuck her till she's so full of cum that she pops. Make her your cum bucket. For being fucked in the face by them these past 5 years I deserve some sort of compensation! Something to show for it, not jsut a pile of receipts and paper. I want results for fuck sake. 22 dollars an our I'll get when i'm through with my training, a pro in my field, soon to be master. You'll be begging that I look at your pile of shit car. Most likely I'll say fuck you until your price is right.
I'm trying to register for school, but I fucked up so many times before, I can only take 7 units they say. It's just not for me I guess. I don't wanna give them the satisfaction of keeping me down. I'm taking it to the dean. No ordinary student would do this, only one who is expected to thrive would. They had better see that. If not they are the rotten scum of the modern day failing education system. Most would give up, take the 7 units and be raped in the face by their stupid fucking restrictions. Not me, I like the fight. They can't possibly keep me down. It just isn't right.
Fuck them if they choose not to see it my way, the right way. If they don't I won't go. My way or Fuck You. I'm an American, words can unturn any screw here. Hear me and hear me well, FUck your own Mother Deans. Fuck her till she's so full of cum that she pops. Make her your cum bucket. For being fucked in the face by them these past 5 years I deserve some sort of compensation! Something to show for it, not jsut a pile of receipts and paper. I want results for fuck sake. 22 dollars an our I'll get when i'm through with my training, a pro in my field, soon to be master. You'll be begging that I look at your pile of shit car. Most likely I'll say fuck you until your price is right.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Virtual ID cards? Fuck the Government
Just got an email from the Demand Progress team goes a little somethign like this:
Have you heard? The US government is developing virtual ID cards for Internet users -- and they could pose a severe threat to our privacy!
The proposal is called the "National Strategy for Trusted Identities in Cyberspace” and the draft indicates that we'd be forced to use them for any online transactions with the government, and for online interactions with businesses that choose to use them.
It's a draft proposal, so we still have a chance to convince government officials to re-write it so that it respects our privacy rights: Will you click here to send them a message?
If the system is fully implemented you'll have one centralized online ID, making it even easier to track your online activity: Officials need to make sure any proposal maintains Americans' rights to privacy and anonymity.
The government shouldn't be forcing Americans to use Internet ID cards. Please click here, and stand up for Internet privacy before it's too late.
Thanks for your support.
-- The Demand Progress team
Have you heard? The US government is developing virtual ID cards for Internet users -- and they could pose a severe threat to our privacy!
The proposal is called the "National Strategy for Trusted Identities in Cyberspace” and the draft indicates that we'd be forced to use them for any online transactions with the government, and for online interactions with businesses that choose to use them.
It's a draft proposal, so we still have a chance to convince government officials to re-write it so that it respects our privacy rights: Will you click here to send them a message?
If the system is fully implemented you'll have one centralized online ID, making it even easier to track your online activity: Officials need to make sure any proposal maintains Americans' rights to privacy and anonymity.
The government shouldn't be forcing Americans to use Internet ID cards. Please click here, and stand up for Internet privacy before it's too late.
Thanks for your support.
-- The Demand Progress team
Saturday, January 15, 2011
July 4th 2008, Busted knuckle and a long walk to HOAG hospital
July 4th 2008 was awsome. My friend Octavio has an older brother that used to live on 30 something street in costa mesa, where they block off the street so everyone could have a street fair pretty much. His brother was awsome, very welcoming and kept the drinks flowing. Music Raged, Chicks Raged, the entire surrounding area for blocks, Fucking raged. Sometime during the night my good friend Nick did not like how some skin head pushed a girl who was tryin to walk past, so he stopped and said something to the guy. The guy was tall as fuck and did not look happy. Nick had to literally look up at the guy to see his face. Drunk Nick is relentless and will not listen to anybody, because Drunk Nick is never wrong, to Drunk Nick. He would not let this go so he was headbutted by the large skin head. Just above Nicks nose had a cut and was bleeding pretty bad. We went back to get Octi so we could kick his ass. This is all I can remember, I blacked out. I remember blips of running and cops chasing us and other people chasing us. I have no idea how we got outta that alive. When I came to the skin that was suppsoed to be covering my right ring finger knuckle was flapping around. I must have punched some glass or something. I was bleeding Profusely. Octi and Nick were past out inside at Octs Brothers house. I needed medical attention. I remember some people saw me and were gonna give me a ride, but for what ever reason I started running as fast as I could away from them. All along leaving a trail of blood all over the neighbor hood. You could literally follow my every move because of it. First it led to the beach, I probably wanted to clean it out. I can only cringe at how bad this would hurt. Maybe thats how I came to, I really don't know. Anyways, I walked from 30 something street, all the way to HOAG hospital. I took about an hour or 2, it's really hard to say. I was bleeding bad. My shoes were covered in blood along with the sidewalk. The puddle that was there next to the stop light mustv been huge. Theres a large hill you have to walk up and that nearly made me black out again because I was so light headed. I ended up meeting some kids that were outside their apartment that offered me a joint. I stopped and smoke with them for a little bit and asked them where the hospital was. I asked if they had any super glue, so I could glue this shit shut, but they were mortified and told me to continue on to the hospital. The joint made the fainting feeling go completely away, it set me straight. They were really nice kids they showed me where the hospital was. I was so fucked up. I checked in so they could sew me up. In the morning the fucking place wouldn't let me leave because I was blowing a .009 into the breathalizer they had. I didn't drive to the hospital, so it shouldn't have fucking mattered. I had to call my friend vanessa. Her sister drove her down so they could say they were giving me a ride home. They really drove me to my car. All this time my phone lost all the contacts in it, so i was extremely limited in who I could call. I went swimming earlier with my phone in my pocket. I'm really lucky the thing worked in the first place. I really wish I knew what happend, I don't think I ever will. I had to have punched glass, it's the only explanation.
A strange, long, intense and somewhat satisfying story
The morning after "fun with whiskey", the sun poked through the trees behind the lloyds house and aimed straight for my eyes. "Jesus Fuck, the sun chose me" I thought, as I closed my eyes. My vision was gone, all I could see was a red hue, because of that God awful burning ball of fire that keeps us all at a safe and comfortable tempurature. We ddecided to repeat the night before but at 9 in the morning. Me and Katie went to a distant Rite Aid in Orange to get more whiskey. Me and Katie walked inside--Again she had her big ass purse ready for anything--We put two bottles of booze in and walked out like the two respectable citizens that we were. In the clerks eyes we were two unsatisfied customers who couldn't find what they wanted throughout the stores stock, to us.... we were champions. Winners of the world. I really don't remember what happend, but just know it did and we were fucking wasted.
That Halloween was when the "REAL" fun happend. My friend Sharon always threw halloween, christmas, and birthday parties that went off. Tons of people getting hammered in her backyard, we had local Anaheim bands playing. This was a must, within our friends of musicians it was impossible for this to happen without 3 or 4 bands playing. First I was drinking with very good company at Sharons. After it got too messy and a fight broke out, Sharon kicked everyone out. Our friend Dahn H said we could all go to his garage and party there. I love Dahns garage. On the Couch tour of 06 his spot was a place I was very often. It was very welcoming although it had roachs and rats scampering sipping up beer because by this time they were all alcoholics. He lived by Juarez park which at this time, I called my home. At Dahns we had plenty of beer, but for assholes like me, this is not enough. I mentioned if someone could drive me to CVS I would have this situation handled. Pun Definately intended. For some reason I decide to go to the neighboring Stater Bros. I think CVS was closed for whatever reason, So Stater Bros it was. They have a ridiculous turnstyle thing that you see at Knotts Berry Farm before you go on rides acompanying the metal barriers that surrounded the exit to detor stealing. This does not stop a man who knows and needs what he wants. The only way outa there is to hop the Metal barrier to make a clean getaway. It kind of causes a scene, but no scene is too much for me as long as I have a get away car, on, gassed and ready to move. I took a bottle of black velvet and head towards the diaper aisle because I really had to take a piss. I started urinating all over the bags ful of diapers, I really should have opend one up, but I was too drunk. It seemed like a very reasonable thing to do. "If you are to pee, pee where it is expected" I thought. Obviously this causes a scene and get caught up in a tangle of Stater Bros employees and their security guard. All of them surrounded me as I desperately try to make an escape between to workers. This did not happen. I was defeated. I tried spitting on one of them, all this did was make them push me around. I then tried flailing my arms in all directions trying to break free of this blur of human animals. I'm glad they didn't call the cops because this would have ended up much much worse. I woulda caught my first DIP and probably a Indescent Exposure Charge. They pushed me out of the store (without My God damn whiskey). They told me to never come back and if I did they would call the cops on me. I coulda sworn they kept my ID so the next day I went back to get it. The manager looked at me like I was some sort of freak and yelled "What the fuck is wrong with you? We told you to never come back, SCRAM!" I explained that I need my ID back, (I was trying to get a job at Big 5 as an Assistant Manager) I needed the ID so they could do a backround check and whatnot. He told me they gave me back my ID and to get the fuck out. I swore they were liars and that the devil would rape them in the ass when ever he wasn't busy fucking others in the ass. I left very bitterly and needed a god damn drink. I later found my ID in Sharons car, I guess that night I slept in her car and my ID fell out of my pocket into her passenger door pocket. Big ass Woops.
So I said fuck it and Katie drove me to Sharons (where I lived when I could, her boyfriend at the time hated my guts, so I really couldn't stay there often. Katie walked home because I had already started drinking again. I didn't drink and drive at this point in my life, otherwise I would have gladly drivin her home. Driving drunk became my favorite sport later on. There is little to be proud of as I write this down on paper. I don't like failing, and DON'T TELL ME NO! Stupity, 110 proof pure grade A Stupidity. I ended getting the boot at Sharons and went to live under the great "Light Bright" in the sky. If you grew up in the 80's you'll know what im talking about. Juarez was officially home and kicked off the Couch tour of 06 for me and Arnie. I can still feel the woodchips that I slept on sometimes in the playground of the park whenever we were drunk enough and the night had done us in. It reminded me of hamster bedding. I kinda felt like a hamster or mouse that could come and go as I pleased. I personally prefered one of the couches in Dahns garage, but I'm sure he wasn't too keen on keeping to raging alcoholics in his garage every day. We gave him space most of the time, but when things got bad he was always there so we could get some reasonable rest.
What made my brief time being homeless was my opportunity to try, love and indulge into a lot of cocain. My first taste was enough to claim it my second true love, my first being pot of course. Moving alcohol to a lowly, but respectable role as number 3. I liked the ideas that the hippies had, with togetherness love and all that bullshit. The way they partied and "enlightend" themselves as they each played Dr. to each other with tabs of LSD. I loved the forbidden dimension that you are able to tap into and learn from. The earths energy and spirits were all around me when I tapped in, and thats the way I liked it. I could see myself as two seperate entities and when I was on the drug, would step outside my self and talk to my consciousness as if it were another being. I loved it. The aztec patterns that materialize out of the ceiling popcorn and the breathing walls. Punks in my opinion are hippylike folk that have had enough and are fucking pissed. The world keeps getting worse and worse, the worse it gets, the more fucked up I'd like to get. Vegans on the other hand piss me off. It's true, all your doing is eating what animals should be. If you really give a shit, bomb the slaughter houses or expose them. Not eating meat to make yourself feel better is fucking retarted. These animals are now dieing in vain! why let it go to waste. They aren't gonna stop, I'm not gonna let it sit there and rot. Alot of the slaughter house owners must of been touched in deyooh down deyooh pwaces where dey go potty by their rotten uncle Charlie. Unless your burning the slaughterhouses down, you aren't accomplishing shit, besides looking like ungrateful fucking pigeon toed idiots. And don't get down on me for eating meat. I get a choice just like you do, FUCK YOU. Shut the fuck up already. I'v had enough vegans call me an asshole and well ready for more. Good keep eating rabbit food fucker. Don't play that guilt game on me, I'll tear your life to pieces in a few seconds. Bottom line, do something, don't just be a self righteous, ignorant asshole. I know what goes on in slaughter houses and how cows and calves are mistreated. Getting tasered 8 or 9 times then dropped to the floor head first and then picked up and does it again. Some dude exposed them to the world and now a lot of them have been shut down. What the fuck have you done vegan?
None of this shit gets reported on anymore on the news, only when a fucking stupid panda has a cub at the zoo, will the news give a shit. If you put a male bear next to a female bear, what the fuck do you expect to happen? They are gonna fuck and have a cub. Fucking rocket science folks. If I gave a shit about how slaughter houses treated animals, I'd prolly do something. Since I don't I won't. As you can see I can't stand vegan vegitarian fucks who expect everyone to accomodate for their self righteous new found diet. Make your own fucking food if your gonna be an asshole, fuck face. Thanks for putting the blame on everyone else. I have gastroparesis and not expecting everwhere to accomodate for my defect. I have to make my own food sometimes that I can handle. It sucks ass, but thats life. Do I expect a gastroparesis menu at mcdonalds? Fuck no. No ones even heard of the shit I have. Just know it fucking hurts and puts a big damper on my drinking intake. I have since stopped drinking, but who knows what life will throw at me. Times always change. If I have to hear "Animal Murderer" mumbled under another fuckign breathe, I'll rip you god damn jaw off and force feed you chicken. Ya I'll jam it straight down your fucking throat. Hopefully you can hold your breath a really long time. I'll eat what I want, when I want, however the fuck I want. I am an American. I can be an idiot and still be right. Thats what being an American is all about. No one can tell you NO. If I get really fat and die from a heartattack, you'll at least know, I was American. You vegans are the closest thing to commys that I'd ever seen, so please shut the fuck up and eat KFC.
At one point in time, I spent my life going to Westwood college and working at petco. I was taking graphic design and was not very well liked by my peers, but was needed for reasons I'll explain in just a bit. I had my aquaintences you could say. My classmates didn't particularly like me because I'd never go to class, but do well on projects and tests. The teacher regularly used my work as an example, either of what to do or what not to do. I didn't really care what they thought. I either made the teachers objectives stand out in my work or would ignore them completely. It just depended on how stoned I was when I did the project. I met a handful of good people at school, but only one is still kinda in my life. Kinda out on the outer rim, an overseerer, making sure I don't kill myself in my stupidty. She'd come to thanksgiving dinners for a while or christmas dinners, but I had a severe lack of pussy when hanging with her.
We first met in the halls of Westwood passing each other she shouted "Stoner!". My eyes doubled in size only more displaying the red glow that must have been radiating from my face. I replied "what's up?" we bull shitted for a few minutes and parted ways/ I still remember what shirt she was wearing, it was one of the Mario Bros mushroom shirts and was black in color. I remember thinking what a cute disney princess looking girl. I got some lunch with my friend at the time Beasley and got super stoned. We drove around a few hours knowing we had class but had much better things to do. It was art history. who the fuck cares. I like Dali thats all that matters. The others need to take more acid before they attempt anymore. Had nothing to do with graphic design. So I took no part in it. When I went back to class I ended up seeing that girl again. She asked if I had anymore weed. At this time I was the man to see if your looking for that kinda thing. I had just picked up a zip and had more than enough to share. She asked if she could get a ride home. I finally found out her name. It was Sharon. I had a Dodge Dakota then and gave her a ride home as well as smoke her out. I installed a cool air intake on it so it was a bit louder than your average Dakota. It fuckign took off too, got very good low end on that truck. 4.7 liters of justice. It soudned like a beast from the depths. She really didn't live too far, I mean a 20 minutes walk was all it was, but I'm sure she just wanted to get stoned. She was prolly just as lazy as I was, I couldn't blame her. She bought a gram or so and went inside her house all chinese eyes and with a disney grin on her face. The door closed behind her and I drove away.
Another kid I met at Westwood was named Patrick. He was from the east coast and wanted to come to California to study Graphic design. He was in all my classes. He just had this look on his face that he was just goooone. He'd talk like a young Tommy Chong "Duuuuude Jooohn What's uuup Maaaannnn". It was somewhat hilarious. He bought alot of weed off my throughout the time I spent at Westwood (3 months I think.) He introduced me to this other kid Kyle. He was Ginger in complexion with orange hair. A very tall lepracaun without a beard. Very recognizable. He was a very cool dude. I still run into him from time to time.
I also went to a few party's thrown by Westwood kids and met a kid Gershawn. He was black and fucking hilarious, I enjoyed his company always. He brought some of the hood with him, I loved that and respected him for it. He had a very welcoming way about him, it made it easy to come up to him to see what was going on. Then there was this other kid Kasey who literally thought his own shit did not stink. Right off the bat. He was from San Diego and had an ego the size of a fucking blimp. I have no Idea where he got it from either. Everyone thought he was an asshole. The girls liked him until they fucked him. They all must have seen something or unlocked the puzzle bercause after that, theyd give him the silent treatment and talk shit on him after class. He was in all my classes as well and was a fucking leech. I'd give him ideas for his projects because God forbid this fucking kid to do anything himself. Fuck, prolly to dumb to do it himself.
After a while even after I dropped out, I kept my contact with Patrick. We would chill toke herb, do lots of coke, and watch Beavis and Butthead. He also had a very nice PRS which he couldn't play for shit, but he thought he was good, and we let him. He had his downfalls, but you really gotta give him credit he did the best he could, and I liked that. He smoked Black tar in the bathroom, and would ask us if we wanted any then retracked the statement and say I don't want to get you into this. I wanted nothing to do with that shit then so I'd always say I'm good.
Anyways one night my friend Teh Zach, Arnie and his girlfriend were hanging out there --by this time we called Patrick "P-trick"-- and offered me and zach some acid. We both took it. It was weak but it still affected me, so I stayed up all fucking night under a cover wishing I was back to normal. Zach was a big guy and I don't think it did anything to him because he passed out soon after. I wanted to take the tab outta his mouth and take it, but I'm sure he swalloed it. It wasnt there. I checked. Everyone was a sleep, cept arnie and his girlfriend. They were fucking on the porch all night. I was contemplating going out the door, but the door seemed so far away and hard to use. I was under the covers thinking I was hearing demons and death zooming in. I was whispering to myself "Not now, why me, holy fuck!" Arnie then wanders in wondering what the fuck I'm doing and scares the shit outta me. I think he's death coming at me. I try for the door, shit oh shit it's locked. I'm locked in. I again refer to myself as 2 different people. I just wanted to be straight, out of the dark and not alone. All of those things were impossible. I would have simply unlocked the door but I wasn't right. Arnie went back outside detered by my behavior and they went at it again outside. I was like this for several hours and demanded to leave when everyone was up. It seemed like an eternity and it was my worst experience taking acid.
Patrick told me and Arnie about these pills called Methodone. I had no idea they were for heroin addicts who are trying to kick, so of course I bought some. He sold me 3 and told me to take all of them and that I'd be fine. This was when I had no tolerence for it and had no idea what I was getting into. So I did what he said and ended up Blue faced lieing down on Dahns couch barely awake, trying not to fall asleep. I had to lay down or I'd feel like I was gonna puke my brains out. My face was cold like a dead persons, heart barely beating out a pulse. I had to do a 20 sack of coke, 3 tabs of ecstacy, and Dahn gave me an eighth of shrooms that I sold him awhile ago to get me outta this state. I did the E first, did some coke and then ate the mushrooms. 45 minutes later I was on my feet running around Dahns Neighborhood alone talking to trees and bushes on his neighbors front lawn. Everything looked like an 80's music video or those outlines on the Hanging with Mr. Cooper Intro. It was awsome. I was tagging alot back then, I wouldnt tag on walls because they got covered up to quick. I tagged on the street, sidewalks and give handicapped signs a big diagnal straight line so they could have a boner. In my opinion since they drew the handicapped sign with his arms straight out in front of him instead of by his side, that they were asking for it. There are some that are still there to this day. I tagged a Triforce from "The Legend of Zelda" next to Juarez. As far as I know last time I checked its still there. I could have drawn a girl on his lap taking the dick, but that took too long in my opinion. I'm not in any gangs or anything, just a graphic artist let loose in an unsuspecting world, there for the taking, if you were able to notice it.
Cigarette filters do not tase good when burned, a warning to all, who dare to try. I accidently lit my cigarrette backwards multiple times because of my lack of sobriety.
That Halloween was when the "REAL" fun happend. My friend Sharon always threw halloween, christmas, and birthday parties that went off. Tons of people getting hammered in her backyard, we had local Anaheim bands playing. This was a must, within our friends of musicians it was impossible for this to happen without 3 or 4 bands playing. First I was drinking with very good company at Sharons. After it got too messy and a fight broke out, Sharon kicked everyone out. Our friend Dahn H said we could all go to his garage and party there. I love Dahns garage. On the Couch tour of 06 his spot was a place I was very often. It was very welcoming although it had roachs and rats scampering sipping up beer because by this time they were all alcoholics. He lived by Juarez park which at this time, I called my home. At Dahns we had plenty of beer, but for assholes like me, this is not enough. I mentioned if someone could drive me to CVS I would have this situation handled. Pun Definately intended. For some reason I decide to go to the neighboring Stater Bros. I think CVS was closed for whatever reason, So Stater Bros it was. They have a ridiculous turnstyle thing that you see at Knotts Berry Farm before you go on rides acompanying the metal barriers that surrounded the exit to detor stealing. This does not stop a man who knows and needs what he wants. The only way outa there is to hop the Metal barrier to make a clean getaway. It kind of causes a scene, but no scene is too much for me as long as I have a get away car, on, gassed and ready to move. I took a bottle of black velvet and head towards the diaper aisle because I really had to take a piss. I started urinating all over the bags ful of diapers, I really should have opend one up, but I was too drunk. It seemed like a very reasonable thing to do. "If you are to pee, pee where it is expected" I thought. Obviously this causes a scene and get caught up in a tangle of Stater Bros employees and their security guard. All of them surrounded me as I desperately try to make an escape between to workers. This did not happen. I was defeated. I tried spitting on one of them, all this did was make them push me around. I then tried flailing my arms in all directions trying to break free of this blur of human animals. I'm glad they didn't call the cops because this would have ended up much much worse. I woulda caught my first DIP and probably a Indescent Exposure Charge. They pushed me out of the store (without My God damn whiskey). They told me to never come back and if I did they would call the cops on me. I coulda sworn they kept my ID so the next day I went back to get it. The manager looked at me like I was some sort of freak and yelled "What the fuck is wrong with you? We told you to never come back, SCRAM!" I explained that I need my ID back, (I was trying to get a job at Big 5 as an Assistant Manager) I needed the ID so they could do a backround check and whatnot. He told me they gave me back my ID and to get the fuck out. I swore they were liars and that the devil would rape them in the ass when ever he wasn't busy fucking others in the ass. I left very bitterly and needed a god damn drink. I later found my ID in Sharons car, I guess that night I slept in her car and my ID fell out of my pocket into her passenger door pocket. Big ass Woops.
So I said fuck it and Katie drove me to Sharons (where I lived when I could, her boyfriend at the time hated my guts, so I really couldn't stay there often. Katie walked home because I had already started drinking again. I didn't drink and drive at this point in my life, otherwise I would have gladly drivin her home. Driving drunk became my favorite sport later on. There is little to be proud of as I write this down on paper. I don't like failing, and DON'T TELL ME NO! Stupity, 110 proof pure grade A Stupidity. I ended getting the boot at Sharons and went to live under the great "Light Bright" in the sky. If you grew up in the 80's you'll know what im talking about. Juarez was officially home and kicked off the Couch tour of 06 for me and Arnie. I can still feel the woodchips that I slept on sometimes in the playground of the park whenever we were drunk enough and the night had done us in. It reminded me of hamster bedding. I kinda felt like a hamster or mouse that could come and go as I pleased. I personally prefered one of the couches in Dahns garage, but I'm sure he wasn't too keen on keeping to raging alcoholics in his garage every day. We gave him space most of the time, but when things got bad he was always there so we could get some reasonable rest.
What made my brief time being homeless was my opportunity to try, love and indulge into a lot of cocain. My first taste was enough to claim it my second true love, my first being pot of course. Moving alcohol to a lowly, but respectable role as number 3. I liked the ideas that the hippies had, with togetherness love and all that bullshit. The way they partied and "enlightend" themselves as they each played Dr. to each other with tabs of LSD. I loved the forbidden dimension that you are able to tap into and learn from. The earths energy and spirits were all around me when I tapped in, and thats the way I liked it. I could see myself as two seperate entities and when I was on the drug, would step outside my self and talk to my consciousness as if it were another being. I loved it. The aztec patterns that materialize out of the ceiling popcorn and the breathing walls. Punks in my opinion are hippylike folk that have had enough and are fucking pissed. The world keeps getting worse and worse, the worse it gets, the more fucked up I'd like to get. Vegans on the other hand piss me off. It's true, all your doing is eating what animals should be. If you really give a shit, bomb the slaughter houses or expose them. Not eating meat to make yourself feel better is fucking retarted. These animals are now dieing in vain! why let it go to waste. They aren't gonna stop, I'm not gonna let it sit there and rot. Alot of the slaughter house owners must of been touched in deyooh down deyooh pwaces where dey go potty by their rotten uncle Charlie. Unless your burning the slaughterhouses down, you aren't accomplishing shit, besides looking like ungrateful fucking pigeon toed idiots. And don't get down on me for eating meat. I get a choice just like you do, FUCK YOU. Shut the fuck up already. I'v had enough vegans call me an asshole and well ready for more. Good keep eating rabbit food fucker. Don't play that guilt game on me, I'll tear your life to pieces in a few seconds. Bottom line, do something, don't just be a self righteous, ignorant asshole. I know what goes on in slaughter houses and how cows and calves are mistreated. Getting tasered 8 or 9 times then dropped to the floor head first and then picked up and does it again. Some dude exposed them to the world and now a lot of them have been shut down. What the fuck have you done vegan?
None of this shit gets reported on anymore on the news, only when a fucking stupid panda has a cub at the zoo, will the news give a shit. If you put a male bear next to a female bear, what the fuck do you expect to happen? They are gonna fuck and have a cub. Fucking rocket science folks. If I gave a shit about how slaughter houses treated animals, I'd prolly do something. Since I don't I won't. As you can see I can't stand vegan vegitarian fucks who expect everyone to accomodate for their self righteous new found diet. Make your own fucking food if your gonna be an asshole, fuck face. Thanks for putting the blame on everyone else. I have gastroparesis and not expecting everwhere to accomodate for my defect. I have to make my own food sometimes that I can handle. It sucks ass, but thats life. Do I expect a gastroparesis menu at mcdonalds? Fuck no. No ones even heard of the shit I have. Just know it fucking hurts and puts a big damper on my drinking intake. I have since stopped drinking, but who knows what life will throw at me. Times always change. If I have to hear "Animal Murderer" mumbled under another fuckign breathe, I'll rip you god damn jaw off and force feed you chicken. Ya I'll jam it straight down your fucking throat. Hopefully you can hold your breath a really long time. I'll eat what I want, when I want, however the fuck I want. I am an American. I can be an idiot and still be right. Thats what being an American is all about. No one can tell you NO. If I get really fat and die from a heartattack, you'll at least know, I was American. You vegans are the closest thing to commys that I'd ever seen, so please shut the fuck up and eat KFC.
At one point in time, I spent my life going to Westwood college and working at petco. I was taking graphic design and was not very well liked by my peers, but was needed for reasons I'll explain in just a bit. I had my aquaintences you could say. My classmates didn't particularly like me because I'd never go to class, but do well on projects and tests. The teacher regularly used my work as an example, either of what to do or what not to do. I didn't really care what they thought. I either made the teachers objectives stand out in my work or would ignore them completely. It just depended on how stoned I was when I did the project. I met a handful of good people at school, but only one is still kinda in my life. Kinda out on the outer rim, an overseerer, making sure I don't kill myself in my stupidty. She'd come to thanksgiving dinners for a while or christmas dinners, but I had a severe lack of pussy when hanging with her.
We first met in the halls of Westwood passing each other she shouted "Stoner!". My eyes doubled in size only more displaying the red glow that must have been radiating from my face. I replied "what's up?" we bull shitted for a few minutes and parted ways/ I still remember what shirt she was wearing, it was one of the Mario Bros mushroom shirts and was black in color. I remember thinking what a cute disney princess looking girl. I got some lunch with my friend at the time Beasley and got super stoned. We drove around a few hours knowing we had class but had much better things to do. It was art history. who the fuck cares. I like Dali thats all that matters. The others need to take more acid before they attempt anymore. Had nothing to do with graphic design. So I took no part in it. When I went back to class I ended up seeing that girl again. She asked if I had anymore weed. At this time I was the man to see if your looking for that kinda thing. I had just picked up a zip and had more than enough to share. She asked if she could get a ride home. I finally found out her name. It was Sharon. I had a Dodge Dakota then and gave her a ride home as well as smoke her out. I installed a cool air intake on it so it was a bit louder than your average Dakota. It fuckign took off too, got very good low end on that truck. 4.7 liters of justice. It soudned like a beast from the depths. She really didn't live too far, I mean a 20 minutes walk was all it was, but I'm sure she just wanted to get stoned. She was prolly just as lazy as I was, I couldn't blame her. She bought a gram or so and went inside her house all chinese eyes and with a disney grin on her face. The door closed behind her and I drove away.
Another kid I met at Westwood was named Patrick. He was from the east coast and wanted to come to California to study Graphic design. He was in all my classes. He just had this look on his face that he was just goooone. He'd talk like a young Tommy Chong "Duuuuude Jooohn What's uuup Maaaannnn". It was somewhat hilarious. He bought alot of weed off my throughout the time I spent at Westwood (3 months I think.) He introduced me to this other kid Kyle. He was Ginger in complexion with orange hair. A very tall lepracaun without a beard. Very recognizable. He was a very cool dude. I still run into him from time to time.
I also went to a few party's thrown by Westwood kids and met a kid Gershawn. He was black and fucking hilarious, I enjoyed his company always. He brought some of the hood with him, I loved that and respected him for it. He had a very welcoming way about him, it made it easy to come up to him to see what was going on. Then there was this other kid Kasey who literally thought his own shit did not stink. Right off the bat. He was from San Diego and had an ego the size of a fucking blimp. I have no Idea where he got it from either. Everyone thought he was an asshole. The girls liked him until they fucked him. They all must have seen something or unlocked the puzzle bercause after that, theyd give him the silent treatment and talk shit on him after class. He was in all my classes as well and was a fucking leech. I'd give him ideas for his projects because God forbid this fucking kid to do anything himself. Fuck, prolly to dumb to do it himself.
After a while even after I dropped out, I kept my contact with Patrick. We would chill toke herb, do lots of coke, and watch Beavis and Butthead. He also had a very nice PRS which he couldn't play for shit, but he thought he was good, and we let him. He had his downfalls, but you really gotta give him credit he did the best he could, and I liked that. He smoked Black tar in the bathroom, and would ask us if we wanted any then retracked the statement and say I don't want to get you into this. I wanted nothing to do with that shit then so I'd always say I'm good.
Anyways one night my friend Teh Zach, Arnie and his girlfriend were hanging out there --by this time we called Patrick "P-trick"-- and offered me and zach some acid. We both took it. It was weak but it still affected me, so I stayed up all fucking night under a cover wishing I was back to normal. Zach was a big guy and I don't think it did anything to him because he passed out soon after. I wanted to take the tab outta his mouth and take it, but I'm sure he swalloed it. It wasnt there. I checked. Everyone was a sleep, cept arnie and his girlfriend. They were fucking on the porch all night. I was contemplating going out the door, but the door seemed so far away and hard to use. I was under the covers thinking I was hearing demons and death zooming in. I was whispering to myself "Not now, why me, holy fuck!" Arnie then wanders in wondering what the fuck I'm doing and scares the shit outta me. I think he's death coming at me. I try for the door, shit oh shit it's locked. I'm locked in. I again refer to myself as 2 different people. I just wanted to be straight, out of the dark and not alone. All of those things were impossible. I would have simply unlocked the door but I wasn't right. Arnie went back outside detered by my behavior and they went at it again outside. I was like this for several hours and demanded to leave when everyone was up. It seemed like an eternity and it was my worst experience taking acid.
Patrick told me and Arnie about these pills called Methodone. I had no idea they were for heroin addicts who are trying to kick, so of course I bought some. He sold me 3 and told me to take all of them and that I'd be fine. This was when I had no tolerence for it and had no idea what I was getting into. So I did what he said and ended up Blue faced lieing down on Dahns couch barely awake, trying not to fall asleep. I had to lay down or I'd feel like I was gonna puke my brains out. My face was cold like a dead persons, heart barely beating out a pulse. I had to do a 20 sack of coke, 3 tabs of ecstacy, and Dahn gave me an eighth of shrooms that I sold him awhile ago to get me outta this state. I did the E first, did some coke and then ate the mushrooms. 45 minutes later I was on my feet running around Dahns Neighborhood alone talking to trees and bushes on his neighbors front lawn. Everything looked like an 80's music video or those outlines on the Hanging with Mr. Cooper Intro. It was awsome. I was tagging alot back then, I wouldnt tag on walls because they got covered up to quick. I tagged on the street, sidewalks and give handicapped signs a big diagnal straight line so they could have a boner. In my opinion since they drew the handicapped sign with his arms straight out in front of him instead of by his side, that they were asking for it. There are some that are still there to this day. I tagged a Triforce from "The Legend of Zelda" next to Juarez. As far as I know last time I checked its still there. I could have drawn a girl on his lap taking the dick, but that took too long in my opinion. I'm not in any gangs or anything, just a graphic artist let loose in an unsuspecting world, there for the taking, if you were able to notice it.
Cigarette filters do not tase good when burned, a warning to all, who dare to try. I accidently lit my cigarrette backwards multiple times because of my lack of sobriety.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
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